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Laughlin Cantate

by Christian Molenaar

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1.
Snakes 02:50
Down in Atlanta we got drunk before the show Smoked delta-8 somewhere on a porch up in Decatur Bought chicken at the gas station And found another cat staying Somewhere under the house Can't remember where I've been But it's just an hour from New Orleans Somehow I caught the wrong flight Can't remember where I've been But it's just an hour from New Orleans And there's a thunderstorm in Austin tonight On a beach in Florida a sand crab passed me by Somewhere there's a band playing but I had to step outside In tears on the phone, I begged you to take me home Crickets for breakfast and crickets at the show Can't remember where I've been But it's just an hour from New Orleans Somehow I caught the wrong flight Can't remember where I've been But it's just an hour from New Orleans And there's a thunderstorm in Austin tonight
2.
I take things just a little too personally I don't mean to But every time I think I hear my name I get this feeling Everybody in here's got it out for me Just like you do It's like I don't even know the rules of the game But I'm still playing I don't know what happened To make me act the way I do I can't believe it's you But it's no wonder why at all You told me I fly too close to the sun It's gonna burn me But my wings float on more than wax I know they'll carry me back home again You told me I'd be the only one I believed you all that time But things turned around when I turned my back I guess I knew it was a lie and I went a long I don't know what happened To make me act the way I do I can't believe it's you But it's no wonder why at all
3.
Long walk in the city The kind of night to make you feel unclean A suitcase is a nice place For a young man to call home There just ain't nowhere you can hang your hat from The wrong taste in the right place Will burn an image on your tongue Then you've gotta know where I'm coming from You hang your shadow Over me Small price to pay to pretend to be free You hang your shadow Over me I don't ask much for just you and me Not a truckstop or a roadblock That's gonna make you lose your mind It's the uncertainty of the date and time Foul smell in the hotel Think I'm gonna sleep outside Man you've gotta know you've put us in a bind You hang your shadow Over me Small price to pay to pretend to be free You hang your shadow Over me I don't ask much for just you and me Don't you turn out the light Don't plan on shutting my eyes Don't you turn out the light Some things go bump in the night
4.
Sunflower 06:24
I remember you even if you don't want me to I saw the light over the field When you took me out When you brought me out here The burnt end of a smoky day Stale smell of morning The lamp dies out, the night is over You made it easy to leave I won't say it twice With me all the time Your ghost is still here Just leave me alone I don't want you here with me I don't remember who you are I hope you know I still have scars What you want I can't get you anything You are a sunflower in a field under moonlight You twist and turn while the lantern burns What did I tell you? Touch me, you'll understand
5.
The Bridge 03:05
Proud swagger out of the churchyard Waiting for the world's applause Rebel without a conscience Martyr without a cause Static on your frequency Electrical storm in your veins Raging at unreachable glory Straining at invisible chains Did you hear my voice Under the bridge Did you believe A word I said It's not as if this barricade Blocks the only road It's not as if you're all alone In wanting to explode Set a bad example Made surrender seem all right The act of a noble warrior Who lost the will to fight Did you hear my voice Under the bridge Did you believe Now you're trembling on a rocky ledge Staring down into a heartless sea Done with life on a razor's edge Nothing's what you thought it would be All of us get lost in the darkness Dreamers learn to steer by the stars All of us do time in the gutter Dreamers turn to look at the cars Turn around and walk the razor's edge Don't turn your back And slam the door on me Paperback scrawl your hidden poems Written around the dried out flowers Here we are, still trading places Try to hold on
6.
I hitched a ride on the back of your wheelchair The old folks were staring, like we cared Back at home you ripped your bong on the floor While I read your diary, desperate for more Your dad hit me up for a chemical snowflake I put it in the mailbox, told him it was your take I've known a few who reminded me of you But I've never seen anyone do what you do You're still living at your mom's apartment You had the nerve to ask what that part meant I never told you the truth, not one time You didn't care cuz you had your own line You don't have to wonder why After all this time You still take my lies Every time
7.
Little Red 05:19
8.
In the Waves 03:50
The fountains mingle with the river And the rivers with the ocean The winds of heaven mix forever With a sweet emotion Nothing in this world is single; All things by a law divine In one spirit meet and mingle Why not I with thine? In the waves I hear my name You called See the mountains kiss high heaven And the waves clasp one another No sister-flower would be forgiven If it disdained its brother And the sunlight clasps the earth And the moonbeams kiss the sea What is all this sweet work worth If thou kiss not me? We all circle A dying sun In the waves I hear my name You called
9.
Dead End 03:24
Hold on to yourself Cuz I'm rocketing back up From depths I've created On the way to a star I've only begun to imagine Turning a crank on the side of my head We watched videos of people pulled into machines Take me out of this dead end nightmare Take me out of this hell I'm in Take me out of this dead end nightmare Put me back in a world I can live I thank the hot asphalt driveway When I step on it with cold feet You laughed to yourself quietly As you followed that thing on its path Take me out of this dead end nightmare Take me out of this hell I'm in Take me out of this dead end nightmare Put me back in a world where I can live
10.
One day these arms will be covered in human skin Til then I am nothing but bones One day this hair will fall out Til then I am peeling my scalp Bone Job claws his way from the coffin Breaking fingernails Pulls up through the loamy soil To the sky and trees What a day to find What a day to find God My only fault was that I was Job God's fault was that God was God What does Job declare? God is still He walks ashen paths His bones grow gray with dust He wipes himself clean But the dust stops him up Job listens for the angels Nothing but insects One day these arms will be covered in human skin Til then I am nothing but bones One day this hair will fall out Til then I am peeling my scalp

credits

released February 13, 2024

Additional guitar on "The Bridge," "Rules of the Game," "Wandering Shadows," "Sunflower" and "Dead End" by Lucas Broyles

Thanks to: Lucas, Joe, Hannah, Russell, Anne + Steve, Robert Sr., Remington Steele, Jay, Craig, Tony, Daniel and Melissa, Big and Little Ben, Steve Davis, Nicole, Dave Brenner, Roger, Betty and Lisa for all the socks

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Christian Molenaar San Diego, California

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